i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
