More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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