the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Me too!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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