chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
