how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
