I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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