when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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