Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
