Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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