So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
