if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
