420 ftw
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
