Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
