your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
