you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
