do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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