Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
