I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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