I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
