i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
