Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
