She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
