Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
