4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
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