There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm passing your future prison.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize