Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
