haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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