just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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