I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
