I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
