How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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