wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
