I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
