I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize