Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize