Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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