just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize