My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
