Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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