does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
