how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
