Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
