No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
