Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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