Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize