Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
