This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
