Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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