so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm getting married
To pizza
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
