I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
