I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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