dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We had to coat check the pizza.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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