Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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