Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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