Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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