hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
