i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
