"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm gonna have a badass scar
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
